Life Right Now

I was uploading pictures from our camera the other day. I have lots of pictures of "fall fun" right now. Will I ever blog about them? We'll see. I mean what's a mommy-blog without pictures of the pumpkin patch this time of year? As a side note, I used to totally be that mom that dressed my kids up for an outing to the pumpkin patch, armed with camera, hoping for the perfect picture of my sweet, well behaved, well dressed kids to be used for....{GASP} The Perfect Christmas Card Picture. Yeah, not so much anymore. TOO MUCH EFFORT. And I realized, for my boys, making them dress nicely totally ruined the fun for them.

Anyway, so at first I clicked right past this picture but something made me go back and take a second look. Yes, just Margo, Charlotte and I searching for a pumpkin. But this picture really says a lot about my life right now. Someday, years from now, I imagine that I will look back on this picture and it will bring tears to my eyes.

Here's what I see in this picture:

*To be honest the first thing I noticed was the size of my arm and waistline :) Larger than I would like. If there's one thing I've learned after nursing 4 babies it's that I don't lose my baby weight until I'm done nursing. That whole "breastfeeding makes you lose weight quickly" thing is NOT TRUE for me. Oh well, the sacrifices we make...

*Margo spends a lot of time in her sling. Snuggled in close and perfectly content. I use a sling a lot more than I did with my first child and the stroller a lot less.

*Charlotte holding my hand. These days she asserts her independence constantly at home, but when we're out and about she sticks close to me or Tyler. She was having trouble walking around all those vines and not tripping.

*Life is full right now. I almost always have a baby in my arms, one child at my hip and I'm keeping an eye on 2 others. I'm looking for a pumpkin, keeping Charlotte from tripping, making sure Margo is comfortable and out of the sun, probably wiping spit up, yelling for Brennan to not wander too far off, answering Calvin's many questions, smiling at my husband, thinking about the time and when I need to nurse again, trying to figure out what to fix for dinner and trying hard to stay in the moment. I'm told it will fly by.

* Charlotte is wearing cute pink cowboy boots and a skirt, this is proof that she'll still let me dress her. She's beginning to have opinions about this however, I think it's coming to an end soon.

* You can see part of Calvin at the edge of the picture and Brennan is too far off to be seen. This is so telling of my boys. Brennan is growing up so fast, off doing his own thing. And I can let him do this! Amazing considering for the longest time I couldn't let him out of my sight. Calvin is still within sight. Doing his own thing but still wanting to be fairly near mom. He's a momma's boy and I love it.

* I'm wearing a hat, which normally means I've not had a shower. Before I had children, I showered every. single. day. In fact I showered every day until I had 3 kids. But showering has moved from the "TO DO" list to the "HOPE TO DO" list.

* You can't tell by this picture, but I know it was a Friday. We picked the boys up from school and went to the pumpkin patch. I love Fridays. Because Tyler works in a church, and therefore on Sundays, he takes Friday off. I love having him around on a weekday. The boys love it when he's home after school.

* The other thing I see in this picture is lots of open space. It reminds me that I love where I live. Our town is not too big, not too little. You can be out in the country in just minutes. It's good for my soul to look around and see nothing. Having grown up in Kansas this is comforting to me.

It's hard to describe the feeling I get when I see this picture. Mostly, I feel grateful though. Grateful to a God that delights in giving good things to His children. Grateful for life right now. It's full, and often chaotic, and I'm trying my hardest to enjoy all these little parts.