One Year Ago

One year ago we watched the first half of the KU basketball team on the way to their 2000th win, then headed into the hospital at halftime. Seven hours later Margo Mae arrived. Our fourth baby, our second, sweet baby girl.

One year ago I was doing this...



And then we were doing this...





And then there was plenty of this...





And finally there was this...



I can't imagine our family without you Margo Mae. You're the cherry on top. Happy 1st birthday!

Margo's Birth Story (finally!)

For 6 months now I've been trying to write Margo's birth story. I sit down, stare at the computer screen, write a few sentences, get frustrated, and walk away. I think the problem is that I can't write words that do the experience justice. I'm not near a good enough writer. So, because she is now 6 months old, and if I wait any longer I'm afraid I'll forget, here it is in bullet point form.

~ Because of a problem with low blood platelets (me, not baby) I was scheduled for an induction. I was really hoping for a natural delivery, so I was nervous about being induced, but I also didn't want to take any chances. I was told to arrive at the hospital on Tuesday morning.

~ On Monday afternoon at 5pm I got a call from the hospital saying that they were FULL and needed to bump my induction to Thursday. I was so upset. Not only because I was so ready to meet my babe, but also because it is a serious production to line up care for 3 other children. Grandma was set to arrive in minutes, all help had been arranged, we had prepped the kiddos, we were ready! After some tears, some serious prayer and soothing words from Tyler, we waited another 2 days.

~So Thursday morning would be the day! I set my alarm for 6am, but it was beat by the ringing of the phone. My mother-in-law (she had come the night before to watch the kids) answered. It was the hospital. There were STILL FULL and needed to bump me back a few more hours. My sweet mother-in-law told them in no uncertain terms that they could not do this to me again. She made the nurse promise they would call me to come in that afternoon. Seriously?!?! Torture.

~ Needless to say it was a really long morning. Thank goodness the Jayhawks played (basketball, remember this was way back in March) that day at noon. We watched the first half at home, and the hospital called back and told me to come on it. THANK YOU JESUS!! The Jayhawks went on to win their 2,000th game that day.

~ We arrived at the hospital at 1:30pm. Because I wanted a natural birth I asked to not be put on Pitocin (the induction drug). Since I was 3cm's, my Dr. said she would break my water and we could see how things progressed on their own.

~ We had quite the crowd at the hospital (I'm not a very modest person :)). My mother, 2 sisters, sister-in-law, and a friend who's a nursing student. But, as with all my births, Tyler is the one who I look to for everything. He was just an arms length away at all times.

~ Once my water was broken (2:30pm) I submerged myself in the bathtub. As much as I didn't want to go on Pitocin, I was also feeling restless. I was so ready to meet this baby. The previous 3 days on the emotional roller coaster had taken its toll. We were praying that God would be gracious and move things along quickly.

~ When I got out of the tub I was hoping to be at least 5cm's. I thought, if I'm at 5 I can do this. If I'm less than 5 I'll go for the Pitocin. I asked my nurse to check me. She did, and I was "just shy of 5cm's". Hmmmm, I sat there weighing my options while searching Tyler's face for an answer. My sweet nurse spoke up quietly (thank you Jesus for that) and said "I think you can do this, your body is progressing." It was the affirmation I needed. So, no pitocin.

~ From about 4-5:00pm I hung out on the birthing ball. I was having contractions, but not too painful and very sporadic. They'd be 2 minutes apart and then 10 minutes apart. We talked and laughed and tried not to watch the clock.

~ At about 6pm all the sisters and my mom went to get dinner. Tyler and I walked the hallways for about 45 minutes. I was beginning to have stronger contractions but was still waiting for them to become more regular. A few times I had to stop and breathe through the contractions, leaning on Tyler for support. I still felt like we were a long way off. I remember seeing some friends in the hallway of the OB floor and standing to talk to them for a bit (we made small talk like, um yeah, I'm about to have a baby!!). Specifically, I remember thinking the contractions were getting harder. I was ready to lie down and focus.

~ I got back in the bed. With all my kids I've done my heavy laboring on my left side with my left arm stretched straight out, my eyes closed, and no talking. Seriously, with all my kids, I've done the exact same thing. Tyler is always right in front of my face. He says this is when I'm "in the zone".

To sum things up (for those who are still reading). From 1:30 to 7:30 things were going slow, minimal pain, lots of chatting and laughing.

(this is when things get a little hazy for me...FYI)

~ It was about 7:45 when I got back into the bed. Contractions were coming closer together and I was having to breathe though them. I asked to be checked. I was at 7cm's. In my head I was thinking I probably had at least 2-3 more hours. As my doctor was walking away I had a REALLY strong contraction. She later told me that she went out to the nurses station and told them that she thought I would go very quickly.

(around this point my mom and sisters were all back in the room)

~ Literally, 10 minutes after my doctor walked out it hit me hard. The contractions were so hard and the need to push was overwhelming. I said to Tyler "I either need to throw up or push!". Serious, strong, contractions...they came out of seemingly nowhere.

~ The room very quickly filled with people. They were all telling me not to push. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO PUSH. If I talked while in labor, that is what I would have said. But remember, I was still laying on my left side, eyes closed, not talking. In. The. Zone.

~ When my doctor came running in the room (telling me not to push!) she asked me to roll over to my back so they could drop the end of the bed and prop my legs. There was no way that was going to happen. I asked (politely?) if I could deliver on my side. Thank you Lord Jesus for an understanding doctor. She asked someone to hold my top leg as she was still getting her gown on. I pushed, one time, and out flew Miss Margo. She literally did a flip in the doctor's arms she came out so quickly. They laid her on my chest and I heard someone say "It's a girl!".

I remember saying "thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus" over and over again. I couldn't believe how perfectly everything had gone. She was so tiny and so perfect. The next few hours were priceless. They weighed and measured and checked and we stared and cuddled and cried. Over time it seems I forget the details of the birth, but I never forget the first few hours after birth. That sweet time when I breathe in their newness and can't believe how incredibly blessed we've been.

Things I Won't Be Buying

The amount of baby gear on the market these days is unbelievable! Even in the 7 years since my first pregnancy, there is noticeably more "stuff" you can buy for your babies. So much of it is comical to me. Here are some things I WON'T be buying for this baby.

This is a diaper wipes warmer, with an adaptor, for your car. Really? I don't even do a wipes warmer in my house, let alone the car.

These are wipes to clean your babies teeth. Ever heard of a washcloth? Or maybe the better questions is, do their teeth really need to be wiped off?

This one really makes me laugh. Or maybe it's the mental picture I get when I picture my husband wearing this. Can you say "overkill"?
This is an electronic timer to keep track of feedings, sleep cycles, diaper changes and more. I do see the merit in this, sometimes these things are hard to remember. But keeping track of this thing and remembering to push the buttons seems MUCH harder to remember to me.
I am a minimalist when it comes to baby gear. I think there is very little that babies actually need. Someday I'll do a post on how we have babies without spending a fortune on them. I refuse to give into the marketing that says I'm a better mother if I spend a lot of money on products. I feel very strongly about this! I do not buy expensive car seats, I don't buy breathable bumper pads, or sanitizers for pacifiers. If you want to buy these things because of the way they look or because you think they will simplify your life, that's fine. But don't buy them because you think they will make your baby "safer" and thus you a better parent. It's a lie! As my momma always says "fear is big business, don't buy into it".

Ready

I woke up today and said to myself "self, today would be a good day to have a baby". I've had a lot of contractions, but nothing consistent. I'm also having a lot of pressure in my pelvis, but I won't say any more about that. So my hopes are high, but one can only wait and see.

So, here's my question for you. What have you tried (or heard of) to get your babies to make their way out? Yes, I know spicy food and castor oil, but what else? I can't say I'm open to ANYTHING, but I'm not afraid to try something new.

So, bring on the suggestions......

*******************************************************

On a completely different note, the weather is beautiful here today. But I forgot that the first few nice days of "spring" usually involve lots of MUD. Ugggg. Seriously, my poor floors. The boys played outside this afternoon. I made them strip in the garage before coming inside. They are suffering the wrath of their nesting mother. I want clean floors and empty hampers when I leave for the hospital. Is this too much to ask?

36+ weeks

If I don't take these pictures (or post them) I know I'll kick myself years from now. But, truly, this is not easy. I'm way past the cute tummy stage and into the "wow, are you kidding me?" stage.





I'd also like to point out that this is the LAST room in the house left to paint. I've GOT to get rid of the awful wallpaper. And the shower doors are so tacky. But I have to say they do a much better job at keeping water in the tub than a curtain does. My boys test this often.

Stream of Consciousness

I have so much floating through my brain right now I'm having trouble organizing it. But I want to get it "out on paper". If I were to actually write it on paper I'm sure I would lose it, or it would turn into a paper airplane, or be used for practice writing the word "poop". So this is for safe keeping. My stream of consciousness on the World Wide Web.

I went to the doctor today. I had a bio-physical ultrasound (my 3rd in as many weeks) to make sure the baby is thriving despite my low blood platelets. It is. In fact, thriving very well. This baby is big. Why am I surprised? I always get to this point and I'm surprised when they say "your baby is in the 86% for growth". The estimate is 7 1/2 pounds. No, that doesn't sound that big, but it's 1.5 pounds bigger than last week. That means in 2 weeks it'll be around 9 1/2 pounds. That's big. But these are all estimates, there's so much they can't see on ultrasound. I have pushed out a 10 pound baby. I can do this. Interesting note, this baby's legs are measuring 2 weeks further along than it's body. Ha!

But my blood platelets are now below 100,000 (normal is 200,000-500,000). They seem to be dropping by 10,000 a week. In 2 more weeks, that's only 80,000. This means no epidural for me. Blood platelets cause your blood to clot. So they won't stick a needle in your back for pain relief if there's a chance for bleeding in your spine. This is fine by me. Spinal bleeding sounds awful. I've done natural childbirth before, I actually prefer it. But not having a back up plan is scary. Calvin was 10 pounds and posterior, I NEEDED that epidural and was SOOO thankful for it! But, not this time.

So given those 2 factors my Dr has set an induction date of March 9. That is 2 weeks from yesterday. I am praying (would you pray with me?) that I'll go into labor on my own before that day. If I have to do this drug-free, I'd rather not be induced and have that lovely pitocin coursing through my veins. I am 1 cm dilated, and "soft". Keep in mind I'm 35+ weeks, still 4 weeks away from my original due date.

So we shall see. They are watching my blood platelets closely. I have another blood draw in a few days. There are many factors that could change all these plans.

All of this and then today I was reminded that tomorrow does not even exist. What a thought! I am not promised tomorrow, it literally does not exist yet. Yet, so much of my mind is consumed by tomorrow. But the Lord knows. He knows exactly what tomorrow brings, and how many days are after that, if any. There is so much comfort for me in this. Thank you Jesus.

Today

The kids were busy making valentines this evening. Some think this is best done without pants.

I love this man. LOOOOOOVVVVEEEEEE him. He's working hard on seminary classes (along with his regular job and being super husband and daddy). He's trying to finish one before the baby arrives. It will be a very tight squeeze. He would appreciate me being pregnant the full 40 weeks. I don't think (or hope) he'll get his wish.



This is my view, looking down, right now. Can you see your lap? Can you hold your legs together? I'm jealous.

Help And Delurk

Alright, I'm reaching out to all of you, my closest internet friends.

HELP!!!!

It turns out Tyler and I have a limit on good baby names. The limit is 3. Too bad we're expecting #4 in a few short weeks.
We have a list of several names for boys and girls but nothing we're completely sold on yet. Actually, I'm sold on a girls name, but Tyler's not quite there yet.

So, would you help us out? We tend to like names that are a bit "older" (dare I say vintage?). I'm not into trendy or made up names.

The second half of the title of this post is "delurk". So that means if you're reading this, let me know! I'm so curious about who it is that reads this blog. Click on "comment" and leave some of your favorite names. Or if you don't have any name suggestions, just say "Hi!".

LOVE

Let me introduce you to one of the great joys in my life right now.



Seriously. I can't get enough. I'm trying to limit myself to one a day, but it's taking more will power than I seem to possess. A plastic cup, lots of crushed ice and an ice cold Diet Caffeine Free Dr. Pepper. All are imperative to this experience.

The only thing that can make this better is if it comes from Sonic. Their ice makes me even happier. The few logistics involved in this, however, make it more difficult to come by....

Children begging for a drink of their own
Money
Have I had my limit of caffeine? Because theirs isn't caffeine free.

It's the simple things in life isn't it?

30+ weeks

Well here I am at 30+ weeks. Honestly, I feel A LOT bigger than I look in this picture! True to form (haha, no pun intended) I'm measuring about 2 weeks ahead. I've done this with all my babies. Have I mentioned that I have BIG babies?

I've always been active during my pregnancies, mainly in the form of long walks, but being a Jazzercise Instructor this time around has definitely put new meaning to the word active. As a result I've gained significantly less weight. I gained 35-45 lbs with each of the other kids. This time, so far, I've only gained 20lbs. I've always assumed that the reason I have big babies is because they are genetically predisposed to large birth weights. Tyler was 10lbs 1oz, I was 9lbs. We have lots of big babies on both sides of the family.

But, I've always wondered, how much influence does my weight gain have on my babies birth weight? So far the answer seems to be none. But I've still got several weeks left, so we'll see.
(I should mention that this train of thought does not come from my Dr. She tells me repeatedly that my weight gain is perfectly normal and the result of a heathy diet. She also frequently mentions that women who gain 50+ lbs still have normal, 7lb babies.)

Things of interest (to me):

*My blood platelets are low again. They did the same thing during my pregnancy with Charlotte. If they follow the same pattern, they'll drop too low and my Dr will want to induce at 37 weeks. Although I'd rather not be induced (it makes a natural childbirth harder), it does help me have a smaller baby. Charlotte was only 8lbs 12 oz (tiny for me!) and she was 3 weeks early. Blood platelets cause your blood to clot, very important during childbirth!

* I'd really like a natural (drug free) childbirth again. I did it with Brennan, but had epidurals with both Calvin and Charlotte (I was induced with both of them).

* I still think I'm having a girl.

* I have not purchased one thing for this baby yet! Wow. I need to at least go get a baby girl and baby boy outfit for the hospital.

* The kids have said some very cute things lately about this baby/pregnancy, but I'll have to same them for their own post! Ahhh, the suspense.

Home

I got to come home this afternoon. Yeah!

The quiet hospital was nice for a few hours and then it got old.
Before I left I got one more shot of steroids for the babe. This specific shot is HUGE and goes in the booty and hurts like nobody's business.
After that I really wanted to go home.
I'm glad we don't have cable TV at home. I would watch way to much TV.
I'm still having contractions, but I'm not dialating.
I see my doctor again tomorrow.
No more teaching Jazzercise (for at least 2 weeks).
I will go through workout withdrawl.
I'm more worried about my mental state than my body.
Working out is really good for my mind.
I'm supposed to be on moderate bed rest.
Meaning more rest than activity.
My husband is so incredibly great.
He already shares so much of the kids/home responsibilities and has no problem picking up the slack.
As I listened to him refereeing the boys fighting in the tub tonight while Charlotte fussed and fussed, I did think though, am I really supposed to just sit here?
Then the guilt really sets in.
He is really wonderful, I am beyond blessed by him.
This is really an OK week for all this to happen.
Tyler's work schedule is minimal and flexible.
We'll be with lots of Grandmas and Grandpas and Aunts who are all very helpful.
I'm not hosting anyone at our house and don't have to cook (although I was planning on helping out).
I had lots of cooking and baking on my list for the week.
I decided to choose one thing to bake and say no to everything else.
I choose PW's cinnamon rolls.
Have you tried them?
You would have chosen them too.
I'm off to find a comfy place on the floor to wrap some presents.
Thanks for all your kind notes and offers of help.

Pre-Term Labor?

Well, I'm hanging out in the hospital tonight. Blah.

I am 26 weeks and 1 day pregnant.
I've had lots of Braxton Hicks contractions during the last few weeks.
Yesterday they were plentiful, but not painful.
I noticed many contractions during a dinner party at my mom's last night.
Once I got into bed last night they began to be very consistent.
From 12:30 am until about 4:00 am they were every 2-4 minutes.
No pain, no cramping, no bloody show, nothing. Just consistent contractions. Finally I fell asleep.
They began again around 9:30 this morning.
I came into the hospital at 11:30 this morning.
My sister brought me as Tyler was in the middle of leading worship for 2nd service :)
I AM NOT DILATED! Praise the Lord.
My Fetal Fibronectin Test did come back positive.
I am on medication to stop the contractions.
I am on steroids to boost the babies lungs, just in case.
I am on IV antibiotics in case I have an infection that might be causing the contractions.
The meds to stop the contraction work for about 3 hours, then I start up again.
This is strange.
I have so many fluids in me I feel like I could pop.
I love the hospital ice.
I love the hospital bathtub. I didn't have to clean it before getting in.
The only thing missing was a glass of wine.
If I progress at all they will whisk me away to Kansas City.
Apparently they don't like 26 week old babies at this hospital.
I have great peace.
God is on the throne ruling and reigning.
Christ is at His right hand interceding for me.
The Holy Spirit is at work in me.

**If you read this, please leave a comment. I'm very bored and would like something to read.**

Pregnancy Update

I've reached the half-way point, 20 weeks. Here's what that looks like for me.



Yes, I know, I carry unusually high. I've carried all my babies exactly like this. I think it's because I'm very short waisted, but who knows. That whole "bellybutton pops out when it's cooked thing" is not true on baby #4. As you can see mine is popped and the baby is not done cooking! My bellybutton is permanently popped, thank you 10lb babies.

* I'm still teaching Jazzercise classes. This picture was taken last night before I went to teach. I feel really great and don't plan on switching to low intensity until things begin to hurt. The only thing that's getting a little tricky are abdominal routines on the floor. My classes will be seeing more and more standing Abs!

* We had a sonogram a couple weeks ago and everything looks great. We DID NOT find out the gender. There is absolutely nothing in the world like that surprise! I really feel like it's a girl though. I'm very close to settled on a girl name (Tyler's still pondering) but boys names have been elusive this time around!

*The boys throw out baby names all day long. Brennan saw something about the Mos Eisley Cantina (Star Wars) the other day and said "hey mom let's name the baby 'Can' like cantina". I appreciate the suggestions, so far they are nothing but suggestions though :)

* I really like being pregnant :)

* I've always been slightly worried that I wouldn't ever be ready to stop having babies. I love being pregnant, I love giving birth, I love newborns. Seriously! HOWEVER, I'm beginning to see the end in sight :) This pregnancy thing is hard on your body! That first pregnancy is just not the same as the forth. Taking care of the needs (mainly physical) of three others makes being pregnant that much harder.

* When I think of Mrs. Duggar (mother of 18, going on 19), my jaw drops. My belly button (and other unmentionables!) would give out LONG before 18 babies. How I would love to ask her pregnancy questions!

Pregnancy Thoughts

I recently ran across a blog called Design Mom. She is a mom of 5 with a 6th baby on the way. She ran a series on her blog asking others for their thoughts on pregnancy. It was beautiful and funny and made me cry a lot. Here are some especially great excerpts.

********************

Most books have it all wrong.
Enduring pregnancy isn’t a matter of getting enough sleep, sucking on ginger candies, or kegel marathons.
Really, it all comes down to storing up a repetoire of snappy comebacks to stupid questions.
Mostly the ones I received were about my size — I was too small, too big, way too big, and should I really be eating so many chocolate chip pancakes?

In Gabby’s case, no doubt it will be about the size of her beautiful family. And while she’s far too gracious to use any of these, I would have some stock answers ready to go. Just in case.

-Yes we planned it. It seemed a shame for that last seat in the minivan to go to waste.

-Yes we planned it. I hear we get a free toaster with every sixth baby.

-Yes we planned it. Now only 12 more to go!
(Liz Gumbinner)

********************

Wear a bathing suit whenever possible. Seriously. Wear it around the house. Wear it to church. Whatever. I mean, you're probably hot (temperature wise) anyway, especially as you get further along, so it helps with that. And, also, you're totally looking hot (smokin' hot wise) because a.) you're glowing, everyone is telling you this and b.) your giant stomach makes your backside look smaller. Think about it. You've really never looked better, so wear that tankini to Target. Trust me on this one.

Enter as many strength competitions as possible. Now's your time. Because you're not just a giant person, you're two giant people. And two giant people can kick one giant person's arse (is it okay to say arse on here?) every time. You will win every wrestling match you enter. I guarantee it. Because besides your gargantuan-ness, no one wants to say they beat the pregnant chick. Bad form. They'll totally make you feel like you won. And really, you have.
(Laura Mayes)

********************

I'll soon be 77 and I find myself wondering how I could ever have complained about the joy and thrill of having a new baby. Of course I remember the queasiness, the awkwardness, the ordered bed-rest, etc. But mostly I am consumed with wonder and gratitude and nostalgia for the soft, helpless, beautiful babies that came through me.

I marvel how I treasure the memory and the joy of holding and nursing a new-born babe. Thinking now as a great-grandma, about the responsibility and trust placed on us naive, new and young parents, I stand all amazed! The miracle through it all is love, love, love along with faith and trust and knowing that we follow long lines of mothers, mothers, mothers! Families! Families! Families!
(Julia Blair)

Hard To Put Into Words

This is a neglected corner of my world these days. There are so many other corners to tend to, and honestly, they are vastly more important. But know this, everyday I write posts in my head for this blog. Does that make it better? Trust me, if we sat for coffee I'd have plenty to tell you.

I read THIS POST this morning and it struck a nerve. It's brilliant and says so much about the way I feel at this moment. I so admire this woman's writing. There are some largely different (theological) beliefs in our lives, but man do I love the way she writes. Go and read, you won't be disappointed.

Surprise!

There's news in the Clements household! I'm not very good at keeping secrets, so I've had to be silent on this little 'ol blog for awhile. Oh, and we've had a bazillion things happening. I'll play catch up slowly.





I realize this may be one of those videos that is really only funny to the parents. But the part where Calvin doesn't know who is having the baby kills me!

Various Bellies

I seem to be mentioning My Mid Section on this blog quite frequently. So I thought I'd let you SEE how it is that I lost all control over it.

A few notes to begin with....

* These images are not appropriate for children
* If you are newly pregnant with you first child, stop here, do not, I repeat, do not look at these pictures
* I may be a tall woman, but I am all legs, I have a very short torso. Which, as you will see means my belly must stretch WAY out.
* I have very large babies (thank you Tyler).
baby #1 9lb 12 oz
baby #2 10lb 1oz
baby #3 8lb 12 oz (but she was 3 weeks early)

Ok, are you ready? I'm not kidding, prepare yourself for THE BELLY.

**********************************************************************************

Belly #1
I'm to lazy to scan a picture in and there's not one on my computer

Belly #2


Belly #3

(if you're brave enough enlarge this puppy and take a look)


And to this I say...this body was "fearfully and wonderfully made".