Stream of Consciousness

I have so much floating through my brain right now I'm having trouble organizing it. But I want to get it "out on paper". If I were to actually write it on paper I'm sure I would lose it, or it would turn into a paper airplane, or be used for practice writing the word "poop". So this is for safe keeping. My stream of consciousness on the World Wide Web.

I went to the doctor today. I had a bio-physical ultrasound (my 3rd in as many weeks) to make sure the baby is thriving despite my low blood platelets. It is. In fact, thriving very well. This baby is big. Why am I surprised? I always get to this point and I'm surprised when they say "your baby is in the 86% for growth". The estimate is 7 1/2 pounds. No, that doesn't sound that big, but it's 1.5 pounds bigger than last week. That means in 2 weeks it'll be around 9 1/2 pounds. That's big. But these are all estimates, there's so much they can't see on ultrasound. I have pushed out a 10 pound baby. I can do this. Interesting note, this baby's legs are measuring 2 weeks further along than it's body. Ha!

But my blood platelets are now below 100,000 (normal is 200,000-500,000). They seem to be dropping by 10,000 a week. In 2 more weeks, that's only 80,000. This means no epidural for me. Blood platelets cause your blood to clot. So they won't stick a needle in your back for pain relief if there's a chance for bleeding in your spine. This is fine by me. Spinal bleeding sounds awful. I've done natural childbirth before, I actually prefer it. But not having a back up plan is scary. Calvin was 10 pounds and posterior, I NEEDED that epidural and was SOOO thankful for it! But, not this time.

So given those 2 factors my Dr has set an induction date of March 9. That is 2 weeks from yesterday. I am praying (would you pray with me?) that I'll go into labor on my own before that day. If I have to do this drug-free, I'd rather not be induced and have that lovely pitocin coursing through my veins. I am 1 cm dilated, and "soft". Keep in mind I'm 35+ weeks, still 4 weeks away from my original due date.

So we shall see. They are watching my blood platelets closely. I have another blood draw in a few days. There are many factors that could change all these plans.

All of this and then today I was reminded that tomorrow does not even exist. What a thought! I am not promised tomorrow, it literally does not exist yet. Yet, so much of my mind is consumed by tomorrow. But the Lord knows. He knows exactly what tomorrow brings, and how many days are after that, if any. There is so much comfort for me in this. Thank you Jesus.